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Accused Lawyer Kasambara mocks the findings in the so called forensic ‘CashGate’ report

Ralph KasambaraOn his Facebook page Ralph Kasambara mocking the findings of the forensic report commisioned by the brits, writes the following:

US: Woman jailed for not returning 2005 video rental

ArrestedThe South Carolina woman spent a night in jail last week for failing to return a video she rented -- in 2005.

It was a VHS tape. Of a Jennifer Lopez movie.

Finley, 27, was arrested Thursday in Pickens County, South Carolina, on a misdemeanor charge of failure to return the video,

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Adieu ‘Fireside Riddles’; Welcome ‘South – South learning @ MaraviPost’

In tandem with Maravi Post’s strategic thinking and repositioning, and more importantly in line with Maravi Post’s mission to serve, educate and inform Malawians better; your Maravi Post Team is proud to announce the introduction of a new column to be called  “South – South learning @ MaraviPost”.

Unfortunately life is a game in which you win some, lose some, and wreck some. Therefore it is with deep sorrow that the birth of this new column represents the demise of the popular Fireside Riddles which the Wise One was regaling us with on Fridays.

There are obviously several questions in your mind:
1.    What the heck is this “South-South learning”?
2.    What is this talk about MaraviPost’s strategic thinking, repositioning? and
3.    What exactly will Maravi Post bring us in this column?

We will answer the first one, and shelve the second and the third for later.
“South-South Learning” is a concept with several definitions:
·    The UNDP defines South-South learning as collaborations among governments of developing countries and non-state actors, to reduce poverty and inequality.
·    The World Bank defines the concept as— an exchange of expertise and resources between governments, organizations, and individuals in developing nations.

We, at the Maravi Post, will for the time being define it as the forum available only on Maravi Post for Malawians to share, debate and draw lessons from developments in other developing countries like Malawi on how they are dealing with the challenges of globalisation, ICT, international trade, governance and a wide range of issues critical to their peoples socio-political development.

Au revoir Fireside Riddles – as they say: good things don’t last and good initiatives must perforce give way to better initiatives!  South – South learning @ MaraviPost will make its virgin flight this Friday and the country in focus is Uganda.

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Woman of Africa on Malawi road to 2014: Cartoon

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Sometimes things you just can't explain happen

well regarded and usually sober farmer was sitting in the neighbourhood bar, getting uncharacteristically drunk, and making quite a fool of himself in the process. 

A neighbour, who knew the farmer very well, came in and asked him,

"Hey, Mr Chimbowa why are you getting this drunk and making a fool of yourself?"

Mr Chimbowa - our farmer that is - shook his head and replied, "Some things, you just can't explain," and sighed – as if the world had come to an end.

"What happened that's so terrible?" the concerned neighbour asked, ordered his own cold one, pulling a stool to sit down next to Mr. Chimbowa.

"Well, Bambo Phiri," Mr Chimbowa began – now that he had a sympathetic ear, even managing a sob, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."

"Okay," said Mr Phiri, "but that's not so bad, cows spill milk all the time."

"Some things you just can't explain," Mr Chimbowa repeated.

"So what happened then?" Mr Phiri pressed.

And Mr Chimbowa continued, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."

"And then?"

"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."

Mr Phiri (couldn’t help himself) now laughed and asked, "Again?"

Mr Chimbowa repeated his gloomy sentence again, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So, what did you do then?" Mr Phiri asked.

"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."

"And then?"

"Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

"Hmmm," Mr Phiri said, nodding his head - as a person beginning to understand a situation does.

"Some things you just can't explain," Mr Chimbowa reiterated, now looking very dejected.

"So, what did you do?" Mr Phiri asked.

"Well," Mr Chimbowa said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.

Soon after that, my trousers – loose without the support of my belt - fell down; and now tell me Mr Phiri, who
walks in?“ Mr Chimbowa paused for effect.

“My wife,” he proceeded after his dramatic pause,”is the one - of all people - who walked in.” And by now the poor man was crying loudly, tears flowing freely.

He only paused once to repeat again for the third time: “Some things you just can't explain!"
***

Eureka! Myth about marriage

It was, until this morning, generally believed that married people live longer.

It has just been announced by the Donzology Department at Chanco that conclusive research has revealed that
this belief is a misconception.

Being married just makes the couple feel that their lives are unduly and painfully longer!
xxxx

Q.E.D:

Have you ever wondered why dumb people seem to get an unfair share of promotions at work? Here is a theorem that explains why.

Fact: “Power” =” Work” / “Time”

Now, if “Knowledge” = “Power”; and “Time” = “Money”; then, “Knowledge” = “Work” / “Money”

Are we together this far? Ok, let’s move on:

Solving (“Knowledge” = “Work” / “Money”) for “Money” we get:

“Money” = “Work” / “Knowledge”

Now therefore:

“Money” will approach infinity as “Knowledge” approaches zero, regardless of the “Work” actually done. Conversely, as “Knowledge” approaches zero, “Money” will likewise approach infinity.

Put simply:

The less you know, the more you make; which should explain your boss or your recently promoted colleague.
Q.E.D.
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(c) The Maravi Post 2012

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