The Maravi Post

BLANTYRE (Marapost) -- Anthony Livuza, an award winning journalist and one of the fastest rising civil servants, died on Sunday at Mwaiwathu Hospital in Blantyre, reportedly from high blood pressure complications, a colleague from the Ministry of Information told MaraPost.

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BLANTYRE—Gospels fans have all the reason to smile as they have been accorded another opportunity to take to the dancing floor with the country’s gospel favourites this Sunday at Blantyre Cultural Centre (BCC).

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My husband told me that he wants to marry another wife. I am employed but I can’t afford to give my children the high standard of living they enjoy, including education in high-cost schools. The thought of another wife is eating me up and the thought of living alone with the children is also eating me up. He is good in every respect. He promised not to leave me. I am in a dilemma. Advise.

YMM

Dear YMM,

Either way, you are alone in your misery. Your husband has roamed and found himself another woman. He is now playing emotional games on you and asking you to allow a third party into a two-party contract.

If you allow him this privilege, he can go on and take a third wife. This isn’t right and it’s also unfortunate because e misery also extends to the children.

It’s a sad advice, but for the sake of your sanity, dignity and strength you need to raise your children, you should tell your husband you can’t accept to share him with the other women, just as he would never accept to share you with  another man.

The more women make these kinds of decisions the more men will stop thinking they can get away with having their cake and eating it too. They can't and they shouldn't. You have the chance to stop your husband. You have however to be resolved and not compromise. Children grow up, but they need to grow up in an environment where wrongs are pointed out not condoned.

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I've Lost Him

Dear Aunt Nadithi,

I am 23 year old woman and I have a son with my lover of four years.

This man once proposed but since neither of us was employed then, I refused. But we agreed that when one of us got a job, we would get married. He got employed first, but he no longer seems interested in marriage. I don’t hear from him and my efforts to trace him have borne no fruit. He once said nobody else can care for his son. I am very disturbed because he is from a different tribe and I want to get on with my life. I need your help before he comes and takes away my son.

ES

Dear ES,

You must deal with first things first and not put the cart in front of the horse. This man appears to be clever and has run off after finding a job; while it may be a nice thing to marry the father of your son, he appears not to be the best husband and he doesn't look like good father material either.

You don't mention anything about child support. Is he supporting his son? If you are unable to get him to take your calls, are you able to ask him for money to feed his son? The child is of school age, have you discussed where he will go to school?

These are issues you and this man need to consider. You may find at he is not committed to help you with the child and his reacts of raising his child are just that, threats without substance.

Fight for this man to give you money to feed and clothe his son; and later provide money to send him to school.

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Confused About Marriage

Dear Aunt Nadithi,

I am a single, financially stable lady. I have been in love with a married man for three years. He helps me financially and has lied to me a number of times that he is going to marry me. What can I do to win him or get away from him? I do not like single men because of their character, but there is a financially stable single man, suitable in every respect, who is interested in me. I do not have a child and I want to have one. Is it all right to have a child with a married man or should I look for a single man? What can I do to fix my mind on this single man and get away from the married man? Is it bad to be married as a second wife?

Confused

Dear Confused,

You seem to be fixed on financial statuses of your own as well as your partner's. These while helpful in oiling the activities of a relationship, are not the vital, essentials to keep a relationship going. Trust, honesty, respect and a beeping spoonful of love is what is needed in a true love relationship.

The married man is only playing games with you. When a man makes up his mind to marry someone, there is no dilly-dallying: he does it. This man wants to play your emotions and probably cause you to do so etching that will see you and him break up.

You should be prudent and do a rethink about having his child with this man. Having children is not a part time job, it is for life and it has to be taken seriously as well as jointly.

You must work on your single men phobia. You are single, you should hang around single men or women. You have a lot in common, and no one among you has to rush home and take children to the hospital.

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I am 30 years old and my girlfriend is two years older than me. We have been going out for three years.

The problem is that she has a lot of male friends, who often visit her at night. When I ask her about these men, she says they are just her friends.

Surprisingly, when she sees me talking to another woman she gets cross with me and says she won’t take this nonsense. I am tired of what’s going on. Please help me.

SD

Dear SD,

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