The Maravi Post

I'm a 25 year old girl who is employed. The year I graduated from high school I dated a guy who had four other friends. They all had reputations for being playboys, but this didn’t stop me from agreeing to date my guy.

Sadly we broke up after three months. I was really devastated because I had become part of their crowd. Two weeks later, one of his friends asked me to go out with him; I was quite eager to re-join the group, I said yes. I also hoped to make my former guy jealous. But he seemed to have moved on and didn’t even look at me.

I was in for a shock when my new love broke off our affair. I felt sad again to be out of the group. But I was later picked up by another guy. This has been going on for two years now and I am with boy number four. Aunt, either I am being used or something is really wrong here. How can these boys be changing around girls the way they have moved me about and shared me in this way? How can I get out of this ring of casanovas?

Sick and Tired

Dear Sick an Tired,
The boys will continue their charade as long as there are girls that will allow them as you have. You were very taken in by their charm, so moved with pleasure, you were thankful to every boy that took you back into the ring.

But as you intimate, this is a ring of abuse. It is the ring that you love, not the guys that are treating you like a piece of furniture. Now that you are sick and tired, you should resolve to move away from the ring and resist the temptation to think that it is an honor to be part of the group. Move away and you should decline the next guy that gets on line for your attention.
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Will our baby learn to speak like his sister?

Dear Aunt Nadithi,

I am a 36 year old married woman and have two children, a seven year old girl and a two year old son. What is surprising is that our son doesn’t talk yet even though his sister was chattering away at 18 months of age.

I've tried to train him and speak to him, but he just laughs and walks away to play with his toys. I sometimes take away the toys so that he stays in the talk class sessions I give him. Will my son ever speak or is he going to be mute? What should I do? Am I being a good mum for him?

Concerned Mum

Dear Concerned Mum,

The really good way to be a mum is to accept that children are different and even if they are from the same family, they grow differently, they develop differently.

Your son isn’t going to be mute; for example, he laughs and some sound comes out of him, so he will not be mute. Spending time talking to him is a good idea; this is how children learn, by watching and listening to their parents and of course other people. But please don’t turn it into a ritual like a class room session. The young lad has his whole life ahead of him and will get plenty of schooling.

As pointed out before, children develop differently, so you shouldn’t expect the speech to sprout out in the same manner as his sister, you should also not display your frustration to him. The speech will come. A good thing you can do for him is to surround him with other young children his age, of course under supervision.
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