The Maravi Post

I am a 35 year old married man with two children. I travel on duty from time to time and recently, my company placed me as regional manager of our corporation. As regional manager, I spend three months in each of the regions. I met a woman whom I started an affair and she kept me in good company in that region.

Last month she told me that she is pregnant. Naturally I am shocked at this because I thought that she was taking precautions. I stopped seeing her and didn’t visit with her the next time I was in the region where she stays. I didn’t visit her so she should get the message that I am not happy with her condition.

I have asked her to abort the child, but she is refusing, saying it is dangerous. Am I still responsible for this child? She said she was taking precautions, but it appears she may have been duping me just to trap me into this situation. Why do girls do this sort of thing going out with a married man and then spoil things by getting pregnant? Should I say this is the reason why there are so many bastards around because of these women of loose morals?
Disgusted Married Man

Dear Disgusted Married Man,

You are very responsible for the child that your girlfriend is expecting. Whether or not she pretended to take precautions, in this day of abundant ways in which pregnancy can be avoided, there is no reason why pregnancy should occur. You are as responsible to ensure that pregnancy doesn’t occur and in fact there are less pregnancies and the birth of "unwanted" children where the man in the relationship takes control and wears the condom persistently and consistently to avoid pregnancy.

You were perfectly happy to enjoy the company of this woman and establishing an informal marital situation where a cozy home away from home was provided for you. The fact that this girl is now pregnant, in a manner of speaking formalizes your relationship; although you are already a married man.

Perhaps the question shouldn’t be why do girls spoil things by going out with married men and getting pregnant; the question should be: Why do married men stray and woo other women outside their marriage? You need to seriously consider why you found it necessary to engage in this extra-marital affair.

Additionally, it can be said that if more married men stayed at home with their wives, there would be less children born out of wedlock (what you call bastards).This calls for men to be more responsible, by staying with their wives.

And yes, abortions are dangerous; your girl’s right in refusing to abort the baby. By refusing to abort, this doesn’t make her immoral or a schemer.
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