Written by AUNT NADITHI
My school buddy and I are now married and have children. We live very close and often share rides to and fro work. My problem is that whenever I pick up my friend’s wife from work, she makes advances at me.
One time she kept groping my thighs until we got to her husband’s office. The following day, she sent me an obscene SMS on my cell phone. She later phoned me at the office and in a silky voice told me how she desired me in a very big way. She said outright that she wants to have sex with me and that she can’t sleep until this happens. Since that time, she phones me every morning. It is now three weeks. Enough is enough. I am only human; I can’t take this temptation anymore.
These are tough times. I do not want to cheat on my wife. I am also scared of contracting the HIV. What should I do?
Tempted and Tired
Three weeks of taunting is a long time. You are to be admired for having warded off the temptress for this long. She may be of the opinion that you are vying for an opportune time. The time is ripe for you to take the bull by the horn and hit it head on. The next time she calls, tell her that you will record her phone conversation and give the tape to her husband.
The next thing you can do is to pick up her husband before picking her up. If the husband asks why the change in itinerary, explain to him that you don’t want to arouse suspicion among people.
How can I know if baby is mine?
Dear Aunt Nadithi,
I am a boy aged 24 doing university studies. A year and a half ago I fall in love with this other girl from my neighborhood. I always used condoms whenever we had sex but it was surprising to me this other day when she told me that she was pregnant and I was responsible. It was difficult to deny because the question everybody was asking me was, “didn’t you sleep with her?”
Now she has a handsome baby boy but I am not sure if I am the biological father; I don’t submit myself to her anymore because of this. How can I know the truth?
There is a DNA tests that both you and the baby can be undergo to determine the paternity of the handsome baby boy. These can be done at most major hospitals in clinics. They are expensive, but ascertain without doubt whether or not a person is a daddy or not.
The chances of the child being yours is a rare one but a possibility you should get accustomed to especially in the face of the fact that condoms are not 100 percent protection against pregnancy. They do leak or burst sometimes. The only sure-no-pregnancy-guarantee is abstinence; this is especially important if you are still at school.
He lied about his marital status
Dear Aunt Nadithi
I am a 20-year old college student and for the past four months have been dating a really good-looking guy. He works for one of the big companies in the city. He recently got promoted and took me out to celebrate this at a very posh restaurant.
My problem is that I think he is married; he makes appointments to take me out and never shows up. And he never bothers to make excuses for not showing up for a date.
On my birthday recently he phoned to say that he was coming to take me out to dinner. I got all dressed up but he never came; he didn’t even call to say he would not come. When I called him on his cell, he did not answer.
Some friends tell me that they see him drop a woman every morning. Do you think this is the wife? How can I prove that he is married?
I have no way of knowing if the woman who sits primly in your love’s car is the wife or not. However there are a number of things that you can do to find the truth about his marital status. The first is to ask his friends (male and female); any one of these is bound to give you the accurate information that you need and have a right to know.
The second and sure winner is to tell him that you would like to visit him at his house. If he is edgy or evasive about your appearance at his house, then there is someone there that he does not want to connect with you. This will definitely be the wife.
You have a right to know about his marital status and the sooner you affirm this the better; you would not want to find yourself in a situation where the two of you are enjoying a lovers’ outing and wife appears from nowhere as wives sometimes do.
(c) The Maravi Post 2012